It is often said that studying medicine, dentistry. Biomedical science physio nursing or even midwifery involves learning an entirely new language, but much more important than all that anatomical tripe is getting your head around the weird dialect that is GKT-speak. To help you along, we've brought you this handy glossary - so you'd better get reading or you won't have a clue what anyone's on about for weeks. If you can't be arsed reading the rest of this Freshers' Guide, read this section, remember it, and bluff your way through GKT.

Soon you'll be stringing whole sentences together, along the lines of 'Cor, crikey!' (Everyone talks like that here cos we're really posh, honest guv!) 'Why was that ectopic flange so cobby about getting ginned for her shocking case of GAS down at the Inflam last night?' Well, maybe. Bovered.

Lash - What you will be doing this week getting smashed. (Intoxicated,)

Cobby - Loud mouthed or sulky; aggressive; reticent. I don't know why are you asking me? Just get lost. God, freshers! e.g.
'Why are you so cobby today?'
'I'm not cobby. You're the one in a big cob.'
'Ooh, Cobby!'
'F**k off.'

Flange - 1. Female(s) 2. Any member(s) of the opposite sex. 3. To flirt 4. One of a number of serious crimes frequently unwittingly committed by Freshers in Freshers' Week drinking games, incurring severe penalties. Plural: Flange. e.g. 'Oi! Flange! Stop flanging with that flange, flange!' An example of bad flange.

Fresh - This is what you are, new to a new place can be used in many contexts!

GAS - Guy's Arse Syndrome. That ubiquitous affliction of medical students in these parts, in which the sufferer arrives at medical school with a perfectly pleasant, indeed, even pert posterior, and within six months of being there develops a huge protruding arse that is not nice. Often attributed to the McDonalds on Campus and awful student food. Ladies beware - there are gyms around, keep those parts pert! Sorry, but you had to be told some time. You got GAS? Dial 07812 175 240 now!

Ginning - A practice that has now completely outlawed (and very sensibly, too) and will, therefore, never ever ever be happening again in Guy�s Bar or Tommy's Bar, any sports ground bars, any pubs nearby, or anywhere at any time! Consigned to history as it is, it used to involve giving someone a present of eight juniper juices whenever they did anything good, bad, or for no reason at all. Never forgetting a splash of tonic and a few ritual incantations. To the tune of -

Derrrrrr der der-der der der der der/ Der der der-der der der der/ Der der der-der der der der der/ Der der der-der der der der/ (To the left!) Der Derrr Derr/ (To the right!) Der Derrr Derr/ (To the left!) Der Derrr Derr/ Der der der-der der der der/ GIN!

GKT Gazette - A strange publication that (presumably) lands on the doormats of thousands of Guy's alumni every month, containing a mixture of text-book reviews, sports reports and 'I remember Guy's when I was taught there by Hippocrates in 350BC, oh, we used to drink in the Market Porter and lark with the nurses...' - medical articles, columns by some bloke who used to go here and now he's on telly, and fierce letters. Find it lying around Boland House. It makes good toilet reading.

Daily Bar - Having been banned forever for over-indulgence in KCLSU-bashing, the morning-after gossip paper has cunningly been brought back from the grave to monitor the current state of fresher behaviour. Watch out, the Bar is about! Soon to make an online appearance on the new website.

Roar - King's notorious student rag, isn't exactly your quality daily. Good for King's Sports reports.