It is often said that studying medicine, dentistry. Biomedical science physio nursing or even midwifery involves learning an entirely new language, but much more important than all that anatomical tripe is getting your head around the weird dialect that is GKT-speak. To help you along, we've brought you this handy glossary - so you'd better get reading or you won't have a clue what anyone's on about for weeks. If you can't be arsed reading the rest of this Freshers' Guide, read this section, remember it, and bluff your way through GKT.

Soon you'll be stringing whole sentences together, along the lines of 'Cor, crikey!' (Everyone talks like that here cos we're really posh, honest guv!) 'Why was that ectopic flange so cobby about getting ginned for her shocking case of GAS down at the Inflam last night?' Well, maybe. Bovered.

Lash - What you will be doing this week getting smashed. (Intoxicated,)

Cobby - Loud mouthed or sulky; aggressive; reticent. I don't know why are you asking me? Just get lost. God, freshers! e.g.
'Why are you so cobby today?'
'I'm not cobby. You're the one in a big cob.'
'Ooh, Cobby!'
'F**k off.'

Flange - 1. Female(s) 2. Any member(s) of the opposite sex. 3. To flirt 4. One of a number of serious crimes frequently unwittingly committed by Freshers in Freshers' Week drinking games, incurring severe penalties. Plural: Flange. e.g. 'Oi! Flange! Stop flanging with that flange, flange!' An example of bad flange.

Fresh - This is what you are, new to a new place can be used in many contexts!

GAS - Guy's Arse Syndrome. That ubiquitous affliction of medical students in these parts, in which the sufferer arrives at medical school with a perfectly pleasant, indeed, even pert posterior, and within six months of being there develops a huge protruding arse that is not nice. Often attributed to the McDonalds on Campus and awful student food. Ladies beware - there are gyms around, keep those parts pert! Sorry, but you had to be told some time. You got GAS? Dial 07812 175 240 now!